Today is the last day of November and the Monday after the Thanksgiving holiday. Seems to me it's fair game to start the Christmas season today, although for good measure you could wait until tomorrow so that it is, in fact, December. But what fun is that?
On another note, today is also the last day of NaBloPoMo, and I once again managed to blog my way through thirty days. And once again, it didn't seem that hard. You almost think that I could keep this up year round, but let's be honest: you don't really want to hear from me that much. Still, it's nice to know that my mind, body, and will can all manage to coordinate on something if I just ask nicely.
Showing posts with label NaBloPoMo. Show all posts
Showing posts with label NaBloPoMo. Show all posts
Monday, November 30, 2009
Saturday, November 7, 2009
Pencil in this
This is one of those "I just realized, at 11pm, that I failed to post today" posts. Go ahead and lower your expectations accordingly. It's been a tumultuous week: school lunch! gardens! babysitting! driving! visiting! burglary! police! repetitive fire truck video! more driving! picnicking! wine! conference! dreaded public speaking! exclamation points! I feel a bit like a wrung rag. The worst part is that I'm only in the middle, with more engagements to stumble over on the downhill side, and my whole being already exhausted.
I'm can't complain, because I'm the one who makes my schedule. I spend a lot of time lately looking at that schedule and scratching my head. Whatever made me think that it was a good idea to fill in every single open spot I can find? Ah, well they all sound fun, in theory. They are all great things to do with great people. And I hate when I'm trying to do these great things with great people to have to say, "Gee, I think the best time is really three weeks from now." I don't want to be one of those people, who make others feel like you simply don't have time for another friendship. So I squash them in wherever I can, becoming the person who is all burned out and over scheduled. I don't want to be that person either. I just want to be me, enjoying my kids and the people we love and the beautiful place we live. It's just that there's a lot of enjoying to be had there, and apparently not nearly enough time.
I'm can't complain, because I'm the one who makes my schedule. I spend a lot of time lately looking at that schedule and scratching my head. Whatever made me think that it was a good idea to fill in every single open spot I can find? Ah, well they all sound fun, in theory. They are all great things to do with great people. And I hate when I'm trying to do these great things with great people to have to say, "Gee, I think the best time is really three weeks from now." I don't want to be one of those people, who make others feel like you simply don't have time for another friendship. So I squash them in wherever I can, becoming the person who is all burned out and over scheduled. I don't want to be that person either. I just want to be me, enjoying my kids and the people we love and the beautiful place we live. It's just that there's a lot of enjoying to be had there, and apparently not nearly enough time.
Monday, November 2, 2009
Time for NaBloPoMo
I realized today, to my horror, that NaBloPoMo had already begun! How could I be behind already? What kind of person skips the very first day?
Except that I didn't skip. I posted yesterday. Was it really just yesterday? See, this daylight savings time business messes with my whole world. You know why? Because I insist on going around telling myself what the "real" time is. For example, it's one forty. Which is really two forty. The kids should be up from their nap soon, and I haven't even put one of them down.
It gets worse. Last night I went to bed at ten, which was really eleven. Very late. Woke up to the sound of a small child in the bathroom at five thirty, which was really four thirty. Talk about a short night.
You're all scratching your heads right now, I can practically hear it. No, it wasn't really four thirty. It was really six thirty. Only it was really five thirty. Can it really just be nine thirty already? I clearly need some sleep.
Except that I didn't skip. I posted yesterday. Was it really just yesterday? See, this daylight savings time business messes with my whole world. You know why? Because I insist on going around telling myself what the "real" time is. For example, it's one forty. Which is really two forty. The kids should be up from their nap soon, and I haven't even put one of them down.
It gets worse. Last night I went to bed at ten, which was really eleven. Very late. Woke up to the sound of a small child in the bathroom at five thirty, which was really four thirty. Talk about a short night.
You're all scratching your heads right now, I can practically hear it. No, it wasn't really four thirty. It was really six thirty. Only it was really five thirty. Can it really just be nine thirty already? I clearly need some sleep.
Sunday, November 30, 2008
Seriously? Cool.
November 30th? Seriously? Seriously? Did I actually manage to make it through NaBloPoMo, posting every single day? I committed to something solely for me, totally unrelated to children and mom-ing and wife-ing, and managed to stick with it to the very end?
And I'm not even tired of blogging. It didn't become the burden I expected, nor did it fall away in the craziness of our lives. Colds, daylight savings, even travel--apparently I'm capable of so much more than I believe. Why, I might just write those novels I've been toying with for so long! Finish those short stories! Clean out my closet and scrapbook my youth! Or I could let the momentum slide away amidst holiday decorating and parties and shopping until I'm back to blogging once a week or less.
How about we settle for something in between? Because, in the end, it wasn't about what this did for my blog but rather what it said about me: that I can commit to something for myself and follow through with it, that I have not lost myself just yet. And that, sometimes, I still believe in myself just as much as I believe in everyone else. Very cool. Very, very cool.
And I'm not even tired of blogging. It didn't become the burden I expected, nor did it fall away in the craziness of our lives. Colds, daylight savings, even travel--apparently I'm capable of so much more than I believe. Why, I might just write those novels I've been toying with for so long! Finish those short stories! Clean out my closet and scrapbook my youth! Or I could let the momentum slide away amidst holiday decorating and parties and shopping until I'm back to blogging once a week or less.
How about we settle for something in between? Because, in the end, it wasn't about what this did for my blog but rather what it said about me: that I can commit to something for myself and follow through with it, that I have not lost myself just yet. And that, sometimes, I still believe in myself just as much as I believe in everyone else. Very cool. Very, very cool.
Friday, November 14, 2008
Selfish, lazy, mediocre...
And I did it. Added a picture to my NaBloPoMo page, that is. But no blog posts. I guess people are just going to have to click on over to find out what I'm doing.
In the non-virtual world, I've been tied up with sick kids. Again. I feel like I should tattoo "Beware of Germs" on our foreheads. I feel like my friends are going to start avoiding us and the germs we seem to crawl with. I feel like a failure. I wash hands diligently, feed the kids lots of fruits and vegetables, take multivitamins and supplements, avoid cold-bearing friends and places, etc. And still: the kids get sick. A lot. So much so that I'm starting to have people comment on it.
Look, I know why the kids get sick. They have inherited allergies, asthma, and eczema that tax their immune systems, thus making them more vulnerable to colds. But there is so little I can reasonably do about the allergies. They have some medications (M at least) and we've cleared the house of the big culprits. Still, too much running and coughcoughcough. A little cold turns into a big ordeal. I know it's not enough.
But the alternative? Trying a bunch of radical changes that may or may not do anything, other than throw our whole life for a loop. If I was assured that these changes could help our kids, I'd do them. Even if they were tough. Even if they seemed un-doable. But I don't know that.
Okay, but I do know that I ought to just try. I mean, it's my kids and their health. But it seems like such a huge thing to do that I find myself praying, thinking, hoping that things will just resolve themselves on their own. Isn't that how we are about so many problems, parenting or otherwise? It's just a phase. Or, It's just this one time. Or, It's not really a big deal. We tell ourselves these things when the nagging little spirit within--often the Holy Spirit, if you're of faith--is telling you otherwise.
Why? Human nature. Laziness. Denial. Envy, even, of other people who have it so easy. Common sense, which tells me that other people are fine without these extreme measures. But we're not fine, right? And these aren't other people. They're us.
And I know parents who've made similar changes. I know they've managed, that they live happy lives, but it seems like such a big change fraught with such uncertainty. So what made them decide to do it? And does the fact that they made the same decision that I continue to avoid make me a worse parent? Or just a realist? Just some combination therein?
It just seems like I can't manage the daily stuff. How in the world can I tackle something so big? Where do you come up with that strength? Or am I just shortchanging myself? Because I know--regardless of whatever else there is--that I'm just a capable of a mom and person as anyone else. It's just a matter of application.
And today, the only application I've managed is a fork and knife to the Pizza Hut lunch buffet. And my NaBloPoMo page. And the photo book I'm making for my grandmother. Which seems in writing like a lot less necessity and a lot more avoidance. Great--Now I can add shallow to growing list in my head.
In the non-virtual world, I've been tied up with sick kids. Again. I feel like I should tattoo "Beware of Germs" on our foreheads. I feel like my friends are going to start avoiding us and the germs we seem to crawl with. I feel like a failure. I wash hands diligently, feed the kids lots of fruits and vegetables, take multivitamins and supplements, avoid cold-bearing friends and places, etc. And still: the kids get sick. A lot. So much so that I'm starting to have people comment on it.
Look, I know why the kids get sick. They have inherited allergies, asthma, and eczema that tax their immune systems, thus making them more vulnerable to colds. But there is so little I can reasonably do about the allergies. They have some medications (M at least) and we've cleared the house of the big culprits. Still, too much running and coughcoughcough. A little cold turns into a big ordeal. I know it's not enough.
But the alternative? Trying a bunch of radical changes that may or may not do anything, other than throw our whole life for a loop. If I was assured that these changes could help our kids, I'd do them. Even if they were tough. Even if they seemed un-doable. But I don't know that.
Okay, but I do know that I ought to just try. I mean, it's my kids and their health. But it seems like such a huge thing to do that I find myself praying, thinking, hoping that things will just resolve themselves on their own. Isn't that how we are about so many problems, parenting or otherwise? It's just a phase. Or, It's just this one time. Or, It's not really a big deal. We tell ourselves these things when the nagging little spirit within--often the Holy Spirit, if you're of faith--is telling you otherwise.
Why? Human nature. Laziness. Denial. Envy, even, of other people who have it so easy. Common sense, which tells me that other people are fine without these extreme measures. But we're not fine, right? And these aren't other people. They're us.
And I know parents who've made similar changes. I know they've managed, that they live happy lives, but it seems like such a big change fraught with such uncertainty. So what made them decide to do it? And does the fact that they made the same decision that I continue to avoid make me a worse parent? Or just a realist? Just some combination therein?
It just seems like I can't manage the daily stuff. How in the world can I tackle something so big? Where do you come up with that strength? Or am I just shortchanging myself? Because I know--regardless of whatever else there is--that I'm just a capable of a mom and person as anyone else. It's just a matter of application.
And today, the only application I've managed is a fork and knife to the Pizza Hut lunch buffet. And my NaBloPoMo page. And the photo book I'm making for my grandmother. Which seems in writing like a lot less necessity and a lot more avoidance. Great--Now I can add shallow to growing list in my head.
Thursday, November 13, 2008
Decor, NaBloPoMo style
Visited my one friend on NaBloPoMo. Gasped in awe at her snazzy homepage. Switched to my homepage. Sighed disappointed. Fiddled around a bit. You can change your background? To flowers? Or chicks? Another way to procrastinate!
Still cannot figure out how to add my actual blog posts to the page. But at least my page is pink. With flowers. Hoping to do something before NaBloPoMo is over. Rapidly losing hope.
Still cannot figure out how to add my actual blog posts to the page. But at least my page is pink. With flowers. Hoping to do something before NaBloPoMo is over. Rapidly losing hope.
Friday, November 7, 2008
DLT Day 6 (Not that I'm counting)
Seriously? Four o'clock? In the morning? In the f***ing morning? Again?
When you can do two loads of laundry, a sinkful of dishes, answer your email, drink two cups of coffee, and make a series of patchwork felt houses for the kids all before seven o'clock, you deserve to write a token post for NaBloPoMo.
You also deserve to skip exercising, cleaning the bathrooms, scrubbing the showers, sweeping the kitchen, and folding washed laundry. Deserve to, but don't. Yes, well, that whole Socialist spiel had some nasty repercussions on my conscience.
When you can do two loads of laundry, a sinkful of dishes, answer your email, drink two cups of coffee, and make a series of patchwork felt houses for the kids all before seven o'clock, you deserve to write a token post for NaBloPoMo.
You also deserve to skip exercising, cleaning the bathrooms, scrubbing the showers, sweeping the kitchen, and folding washed laundry. Deserve to, but don't. Yes, well, that whole Socialist spiel had some nasty repercussions on my conscience.
Saturday, November 1, 2008
NaBloPoMo
So for some reason, I thought it would be a bright idea to join National Blog Posting Month, which, if the title wasn't clear enough, is a challenge to post every day for the month of November. It's sad when you wake up at 2:30am on November 1st panicked about managing to get your first post finished in time. Just wait until I'm right in the middle of Thanksgiving dinner and I feel compelled to write about the consistency of the stuffing or the inanity of napkin rings.
Which brings me to the more significant question: how am I really supposed to engage readers for an entire month when I'm not even sure what I'm doing in the first place? I mean, I started this blog over a year ago with a temporary title that somehow managed to take up permanent residence.
But I suppose that's the heart of the blog. I'm always walking lines, drifting from one side to another. I'm a stay-at-home mom to two small but demanding children, and also an intelligent young woman and writer. I'm into balanced nutrition and exercise, and also into burgers and fries and nightly desserts. I try to treat issues holistically, and also reach for Tylenol the minute the kids sprout a fever.
So you find a little bit of everything here. I won't say that I don't use these pages to sometimes record cute things the kids do or the insanity of my daily life, but mostly I try to work out what that life is, the one that never really settles into definition. It's a bit scary, drifting, and this blog gives me the chance to work that fear into something liberating.
Okay, so that's about it. I think. Maybe? Speaking of line-walking...
Which brings me to the more significant question: how am I really supposed to engage readers for an entire month when I'm not even sure what I'm doing in the first place? I mean, I started this blog over a year ago with a temporary title that somehow managed to take up permanent residence.
But I suppose that's the heart of the blog. I'm always walking lines, drifting from one side to another. I'm a stay-at-home mom to two small but demanding children, and also an intelligent young woman and writer. I'm into balanced nutrition and exercise, and also into burgers and fries and nightly desserts. I try to treat issues holistically, and also reach for Tylenol the minute the kids sprout a fever.
So you find a little bit of everything here. I won't say that I don't use these pages to sometimes record cute things the kids do or the insanity of my daily life, but mostly I try to work out what that life is, the one that never really settles into definition. It's a bit scary, drifting, and this blog gives me the chance to work that fear into something liberating.
Okay, so that's about it. I think. Maybe? Speaking of line-walking...
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