Zero

That's the number of times that I complained about the ants that finally invaded. Maybe it was all that preparation, or maybe it was just the lack of energy I had left by the end of what was clearly a time-vortex super long week. Instead, there were several observations about how industrious those little guys were to work their way across the whole house to find water at the kitchen sink and how sad it was that they were so pathetically thirsty.

It would have been nice, of course, if the ants hadn't chosen to gather while we had guests. I covered brilliantly with this cheerful dodge: "Why, we've never had ants here before!" As if that makes the swarm around the sink, where you're trying to wash your little girl's hands, any less disgusting. As if, really, that's any explanation whatsoever.

But we blithely ignored them until our friends left for the night (the human ones) and then ushered our uninvited ants out with eucalyptus soap and water (for the record, a very effective ant killer). Blocked up the entry point and--voila!--no more ants. Yet. But they were very industrious and probably still thirsty. But I'm getting pretty good at this blissful ignorance thing.