Tuesday, September 4, 2007

Let it go, let it go, let it go

Today, much to my surprise, has been a great day. I know, why so surprised? Because Tuesdays of late have been royally lousy, starting with an gym class where we don't do gym (let me clarify: the rest of the class does gym while we sit on the side because M gets the choice between participating and sitting quietly until class is over, the latter of which has become his standby) and a speech therapy appointment where we don't do speech (again, he can talk, if only he wanted to). In between I rush madly to run errands while K cries in her car seat and M whines along with her. Need I go on?

But today I did something that I--anal, type A, multitasker galore that I am--rarely do. I let it go. I let it go. The very repetition of that phrase brings a sense of peace to my weary soul. When M didn't want to do what the teacher asked in gym, we found something else fun to do instead. When I was hot, I stopped for a big drink even though it meant a little extra time and driving. When I could have been rushing around running errands, we went to the duck pond and library instead. At lunch, when M got up after a half chicken nugget, I just wrapped up the plate and put it in the fridge for later. Even now, the house is a mess as I was half-through with six projects (there's that pesky multitasking for you) when K woke up unexpectedly, and I settled down with her as it was the only way I could get her to continue her much-needed nap. When all those nagging little thoughts about rules, efficiency, and do-it-all duties reared their ugly heads today, I, for whatever reason, swept them aside. You know what? Everyone seemed more at peace than we have in a while. In the end, it just didn't feel like the sweep-it-under-the-rug failure that I'd always envisioned. It felt like cleaning out a very dusty room, where I now have shiny floors and crystal windows and an open space in which to sit, rest, and breathe.

I like this room. I know I won't stay here forever, but I hope I will remember this feeling, maybe even encourage someone else out there to find a equivalent room of one's own, and to visit it often enough that even time there's a little less dust, a little less to sweep away. Who couldn't do with a little less cleaning anyway?


Heather said...

good 4 you, D! I did likewise, hanging w/ friends all day rather than making dinner. the day flew by, I felt reconnected with friends (something I've really been needing lately) and, well, we'll eat leftovers for dinner. Everyone wins.

Melissa said...

Mmm, leftovers. The occasional frozen burrito doesn't seem to be killing us around here, either.

And isn't it nice when a day works out?