M started a runny nose today, which is least likely due to allergies or teething (although I cling desperately to the hope) and most likely due to the indoor playground we went to on Monday. Three other kids from our playgroup have come down with the same thing. I feel like finding the little snot who was running around infecting all our kids and squeezing the bejebees out of him, but who knows? It could have been mine.
This leads me to my confession: as much as I hate seeing my kids sick, the thing I dread most when I see that nose start a-running is that I will get sick as a result. Doesn't that make me the most selfish mother in the world? If I think I'm miserable when I'm sick, imagine what my poor kids feel like. Except that they are totally dependent on me to take care of them, and if I'm sick, I want to be totally dependent too. This causes a breakdown in the entire household. So really, it's for their own benefit that I stay healthy. Yeah, sure, as if that makes me feel any less horrible.
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2 comments:
Oh, no, dear friend, you're not a bad mom. I actually don't touch L when she's sick, just in case she gets me ill. Okay, I exaggerate, but I think it's totally realistic to hate getting sick more than having your kids be sick. They like a happy mommy, right? And they have someone to bring them hot/cold beverages and tissues, correct? Nuff said.
You are a great mom. You only want to not get sick so you can take better care of the kids. Don't sweat it. Feelings like that don't make you a bad mom.
B
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